Monday, August 28, 2006

Tranquility, Not Love, as The Objective of Marriage

Peace Be Unto Those Who Follow Right Guidance.

In what follows, I should like to offer a few brief comments on sign/message (ayah) (30:21) in The Qur'an. My thoughts are inspired by the observations of the Andalusian Sufi, Ibn Al-'Arabi's reflections on the same sign/message (ayah) as cited in my talk, The Battle of The Sexes.

(30:21) Wa min a_ya_tihi an halaqalakum min anfusikum azwa_jal litaskunu_ ilaiha_ wa ja'ala bainakum mawad-dataw-wa rahmah in na fi za_lika la a_ya_tillaqaumiy yatafak karu_n
And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put affection/attachment and compassion/mercy between you; verily, in that are Signs for those who reflect.
What I find interesting about this sign/message (ayah) is that it is sakina (rest, tranquility) which is mentioned first and muwaddat (affection, attachment) and rahmat (compassion, mercy) thereafter. Furthermore, the particle "li" meaning "for" is used in connection with sakina - "litaskunu_ ilaiha_" - implying thereby a sense of intended purpose. Thus, it would appear that it is "dwelling in tranquility" and/or "finding rest in the other" that is - or should be - at the heart/core of male-female dynamics, more precisely, those of complementary opposites (azwaaj). Muwaddat - which Ibn Al-'Arabi associates with "fixity" - and rahmat appear to be the relational means by which such rest/tranquility is achieved. (I understand this to be relational because the particle bayna - meaning "between" - is used and it indicates both relationality and reciprocality.)

Ibn Al-'Arabi states in Futoohaat II 428.17:

“The profit of reflecting upon this is that when a man marries a woman and he finds rest [sakina] in her, and when God places between them love [muwaddat] and mercy [rahmat], he knows that God desires their union. But rest in the companion may be removed by one of them or both of them, and love may disappear. For love is the fixity of this rest, which is why it is called ‘love’ [wadd (literally ‘stake’)], while God is named al-wadood since His love for those servants He loves is firmly fixed."
Thus, attachment/fixity and compassion are the means by which the objective of marriage - tranquil dwelling and/or mutual rest - is achieved. This indicates that the nature of tazweej (pairing) involving human beings is intended to be one of complementarity and not one of conflict. This stands in stark contrast to fundamental 'Western' notions of relations between opposites - such as male and female, 'self' and 'other' etc - which are marked by two notions, both of which have pre-Socratic (Ancient Greek) origins traceable to the philosopher Heraclitus:
  1. Polemos - "conflict"
  2. Panta rhei - "all is change"
The former notion is clearly at odds with the central Qur'anic theme of rahmat (compassion, softness), while the latter is, arguably, at odds with the Qur'anic objective of sakina (tranquility, rest, calm).

The Qur'an envisages the ideal relation between men and women as one of calm, fixity and compassion. Furthermore, it should be noted that God/Allah (swt) is Al-Wadood and Ar-Rahman, the source of muwaddat and rahmat which are the necessary conditions for sakina - (30:21) makes use of the verb ja'ala meaning "He has put/placed", referring, in this instance, to God/Allah (swt). This point is crucial since The Qur'an cautions the human being as follows:

(50:19) Wala takoonoo kaallatheena nasoo Allaha faansahum anfusahum ola-ika humu alfasiqoona
And do not be like those who forgot Allah, therefore He caused them to forget their souls. Such are the evil-doers.
Read in conjunction with (30:21), the message would seem to be that if we forget that God/Allah (swt) is the source of fixity/stability and compassion, then, in general (since there are always exceptions), these qualities will eventually disappear from us (as people) and, ultimately, from our relations with others, including what should be our complementary opposites.

The remedy for this situation lies in acts of dhikr (reminding oneself) and shukr (gratitude), for as God/Allah (swt) states in The Qur'an: "If you are grateful, I will give you more."

Peace

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

CD LECTURE: The Marriage and Divorce Series

Peace Be Unto Those Who Follow Right Guidance.

Khalid Abou El Fadl, Islamic jurist, scholar, professor of law, and controversial author of Speaking in God's Name: Islamic Law, Authority and Women and The Conference of The Books: The Search for Beauty in Islam has put together an interesting nine-part lecture series (24 CDs) on marriage and divorce. The titles of the lectures are as follows:

Part I: Balance in Marriage; Defining the Mulk and the Malakut Marriage
Part II: The Mulk and the Malakut Marriage; The Responsibility and Development of the Individual in Marriage
Part III: Arranged Marriages, the Idea of Fate, and God's Involvement in Marriage
Part IV: Conceptions of Marriage; The Partnership of God in Marriage; and the Beating Verse
Part V: The Rights and Duties of Husbands and Wives; Physical Violence in Marriage
Part VI: The Desirability of Marriage; the Age for Marriage; Engagement; and the Idea of Love
Part VII: Selecting a Partner; Marriage as a Test; The Marriage Contract; Conditions of Marriage; Polygamy
Part VIII: Nature of the Marriage Contract; The Importance of Knowing Yourself and Knowing Your Partner; and The Spiritual Dynamics of Divorce
Part IX: Divorce and Subjugation
The series can be obtained from the following website: Scholar of The House: Marriage Series

Peace

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

LECTURE NOTES: The Battle of The Sexes

Peace Be Unto Those Who Follow Right Guidance.

Here are the notes to the recent talk I delivered entitled "The Battle of The Sexes".

Peace

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES

Is it a battle between men and women or between them and something else?

(2:102) Wattaba'u_ ma_ tatlush-shaya_tinu 'ala_ mulki sulaima_n(a), wa ma_ kafara sulaima_nu wa la_kinnash-shaya_tina kafaru_ yu'allimu_nan na_sas sihra wa ma_ unzila 'alal malakaini bi ba_bila ha_ru_tawa ma_ru_t(a), wa ma_ yu'allima_ni min ahadin hatta_ yaqu_la_ innama_ nahnu fitnatun fa la_ takfur, fa yata'allamu_na minhuma_ ma_ yufarriqu_na bihi bainal mar'i wa zaujih(i), wa ma_ hum bi da_rrina bihi min ahadin illa_ bi iznilla_h(i), wa yata'allamu_na ma_ yadurruhum wa la_ yanfa'uhum, wa laqad 'alimuu_ lamanisy tara_hu ma_ lahu_ fil a_khirati min khala_q(in), wa labi'sa ma_ syarau bihi anfusahum, lau ka_nu_ ya'lamun(a).
They [i.e. a section of The people of The Book] followed what the evil ones gave out (falsely) against the power of Solomon; the blasphemers were not Solomon but the evil ones teaching men magic and such things as came down at Babylon to the angels Harut and Marut. But neither of these taught anyone (such things) without saying: "We are only for trial, so do not blaspheme." They learned from them the means to sow discord between man and wife. But they could not thus harm anyone except by Allah's permission. And they learned what harmed them not what profited them. And they knew that the buyers of (magic) would have no share in the happiness of the Hereafter. And vile was the price for which they did sell their souls if they but knew!

THE QUR’AN ON THE IDEAL MAN-WOMAN RELATIONSHIP

(7:189) Huwal lazi khalaqakum min nafsiw wa_hidatiw wa ja'ala minha_ zaujaha_ liyaskuna ilaiha_
It is He who created you from a single person and made his mate [i.e. complementary opposite] of like nature in order that he might dwell with her (in a state of calm).

(30:21) Wa min a_ya_tihi an halaqalakum min anfusikum azwa_jal litaskunu_ ilaiha_ wa ja'ala bainakum mawad-dataw-wa rahmah in na fi za_lika la a_ya_til laqaumiy yatafak karu_n
And among His Signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put affection/attachment and compassion/mercy between you; verily, in that are Signs for those who reflect.

In The Tao of Islam: A Sourcebook on Gender Relationships in Islamic Thought (1992, SUNY Press: New York, p.343), Sachiko Murata states the following

[The Andalusian sufi master] Ibn al-‘Arabi draws a conclusion that
may seem surprising to the Christian sensibility which would make marriage an
inseparable bond. Muslims, in contrast, consider marriage as a contract that may
be brought to an end through divorce. Though divorce is not encouraged, neither
is it forbidden. “The profit of reflecting upon this is that when a man marries
a woman and he finds rest [sakina] in her, and when God places between
them love [muwaddat] and mercy [rahmat], he knows that God
desires their union. But rest in the companion may be removed by one of them or
both of them, and love may disappear. For love is the fixity of this rest, which
is why it is called ‘love’ [wadd (literally ‘stake’)], while God is
named al-wadood since His love for those servants He loves is firmly fixed.
Mercy may disappear from between them, or from one of them toward the companion,
so that the one turns away from the other. Then he will know that God desires
their divorce, so he may undertake that.” Futoohaat II 428.17
(2:187) …hunna liba_sul lakum wa antum liba_sul lahunn(a)…
... [Your wives,] they are your garments. And you [their husbands] are their garments…

POINT: This is generally understood to imply the “closeness” of the husband-wife relationship. However, The Qur’an states that the best libaas (garment) is that of TAQWA (7:26), which originally referred to “that which affords preservation of self”. Furthermore, read in connection with (21:80), an additional meaning to (2:187) is revealed connected to the idea of “provision of protection in a potentially lifethreatening situation”.

(21:80) Wa al lamna_hu sanata labu_sil lakum lituhsinakum min basikum fahal antum sa_kiru_n
And We taught him [i.e. Solomon] the art of making garments (of mail) to protect/fortify you in your daring. Are you then thankful?

POINT: The importance of a spouse manifesting such a trait, viz. being “fortified” (muhsana) – which is usually rendered as “chaste” – is made explicit in (5:5).

(5:5) Al yauma uhilla lakumut tayyiba_t(u), wa ta'a_mul lazina u_tul kita_ba hillul lakum, wa ta'a_mukum hillul lahum, wal muhsana_tu minal mu'mina_ti wal muhsana_tu minal lazina a_tul kita_ba min qablikum iza_a a_taitumuhunna uju_rahunna muhsinina gaira musa_fihina wa la_ muttakhizi akhda_n(in), wa may yakfur bil ima_ni fa qad habita 'amaluh(u_), wa huwa fil a _khirati minal kha_sirin(a).
This day are (all) good things made lawful for you. The food of those who have received the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. And so are the fortified women of the believers and the fortified women of those who received the Scripture before you (lawful for you) when ye give them their marriage portions and live with them in honour, not in fornication, nor taking them as secret concubines. Whoso denies the faith, his work is vain and he will be among the losers in the Hereafter.

Crucially, The Qur’an describes the more general relationship between believing men and believing women as one that is characterised by a joint commitment to a common social, political and moral programme of action - “amr b’il-ma’roof wa nahy ‘an’il-munkar”:

(9:71-72) Wal mu'minu_na wal mu'mina_tu ba'duhum auliya_'u ba'd(in), ya'muru_na bil ma'ru_fi wa yanhauna 'anil munkari wa yuqimu_nas sala_ta wa yu'tu_naz zaka_ta wa yuti'u_nalla_ha wa rasu_lah(u_), ula_'ika sayarhamuhumulla_h(u), innalla_ha 'azizun hakim(un). Wa'adalla_hul mu'minina wal mu'mina_ti janna_tin tajri min tahtihal anha_ru kha_lidina fiha_ wa masa_kina tayyibatan fi janna_ti 'adn(in), wa ridwa_num minalla_hi akbar(u), za_lika huwal fauzul 'azim(u).
The believers, men and women, are protectors (awliya) one of another: they enjoin what is recognised [by The Criterion of right and wrong] and forbid what is not recognised [by The Criterion of right and wrong]: they uphold as-salaat, render az-zakaat and obey Allah and His apostle. On them will Allah pour His mercy; for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise. Allah has promised to believers, men and women, gardens under which rivers flow to dwell therein and beautiful mansions in gardens of everlasting bliss. But the greatest bliss in the Good Pleasure of Allah: that is the supreme felicity.

(60:1) Ya_ ay yuhal lazina a_manu_ la_ tat takhizu_ aduw wi wa aduw wakum auliya_a tulqu_na ilaihim bilmawad-dati wa qad kafaru_ bima_ ja_akum minal haq yukhriju_nar rasu_la wa iy ya_kum an tuminu_ bil la_hi rab bikum in kuntum harajtum jiha_dan fi sabili wabtiga_a marda_ti tusir ru_na ilaihim bilmawad-dah wa ana alamu bima_ akhfaitum wa ma_ alan tum wa may yafalhu minkum faqad dala sawa_ as sabil
O you who believe! Take not My enemy and your enemy for protectors. Do you give them affection when they disbelieve in that truth which hath come unto you, driving out the messenger and you because you believe in Allah, your Lord? If you have come forth to strive in My way and seeking My good pleasure, (show them not friendship). Do you show affection unto them in secret, when I am best Aware of what ye hide and what ye proclaim? And whosoever doeth it among you, be verily hath strayed from the right way.

The Qur’an lays down a number of regulations concerning marriage that bear on the issue of sakina/taskeen [=calm, stability, harmony] in relationships between men and women:

(60:10) Ya_ ay yuhal lazina a_manu_ iza_ ja_ akumul mumina_tu muha_jira_tin famtahinu_hun al la_hu alamu bi ima_nihin fa in alimtumu_hun na mumina_tin fala_ tarjiu_hun na ilal kuf fa_r la_ hun na hil lul lahum wa lahum yahil lu_na lahun wa a_tu_ hum ma_ anfa_qu_ wa la_ juna_ha alaikum an tankihu_hun na iza_ a_ taitumu_hun na uju_rahun wa la_ tumsiku bi ishamil kawa_firi was alu_ ma_ anfaqtum wal yas alu_ ma_ anfaqu_ za_likum hukmul la_h yah kumu bainakum wal la_hu alimun hakim
O you who believe! When believing women come unto you as fugitives, examine them. Allah is best aware of their faith. Then, if you know them for true believers, send them not back unto the disbelievers. They are not lawful for the disbelievers, nor are the disbelievers lawful for them. And give the disbelievers that which they have spent (upon them). And it is no sin for you to marry such women when you have given them their dues. And hold not to the ties of disbelieving women; and ask for (the return of) that which you have spent; and let the disbelievers ask for that which they have spent. That is the judgment of Allah. He judges between you. Allah is Knower, Wise.

(60:12) Ya_ ay yuhan nabiyu iza ja_ akal mumina_tu yuba_yinaka ala_ al la_ yushrikna bil la_hi sai aw wa la_ yasriqna wa la_ yaznina wa la_ yaqtulna aula_dahun na wa la_ yatina bibuhta_niy yaftarinahu_ baina aidihin na wa arjulihin na wa la_ yasinaka fi maru_fin faba_yihun na wastagfir lahun nal la_h in nal la_ha gafu_rur rahim
O Prophet! If believing women come unto you, taking oath of allegiance unto you that they will ascribe nothing as partner unto Allah, and will neither steal nor commit adultery nor kill their children, nor produce any lie that they have devised between their hands and feet, nor disobey you in what is right, then accept their allegiance and ask Allah to forgive them. Lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.

(2:221) Wa la_ tankihul mushrika_ti hatta_ yu'minn(a), wa la'amatum mu'minatun khairum mim mushrikatiw wa lau a'jabatkum, wa la_ tunkihul mushrikina hatta_ yu'minu_, wa la'abdum ymu'minun khairum mim mushrikiw wa lau a'jabakum, ula_'ika yad'u_na ilan na_r(i), walla_hu yad'u_ ilal jannati wal magfirati bi iznih(i), wa yubayyinu a_ya_tihi linna_si la'allahum yatazakkaru_n(a).
Wed not idolatresses till they believe; for lo! a believing bondwoman is better than an idolatress though she please you; and give not your daughters in marriage to idolaters till they believe, for lo! a believing slave is better than an idolater though he please you. These invite unto the Fire, and Allah invites unto the Garden, and unto forgiveness by His grace, and expounds thus His revelations to mankind that haply they may remember.

(4:25) Wa mal lam yastati' minkum taulan ay yankihal muhsana_til mu'mina_ti famimma_ malakat aima_nukum min fataya_tikumul mu'mina_t(i), walla_ a'lamu bi ima_nikum, ba'dukum mim ba'd(in), fankihu_hunna bi izni ahlihinna wa a_tu_hunna uju_rahunna bil ma'ru_fi muhsana_tin gaira musa_fiha_tiw wa la_ muttakhiza_ti akhda_n(in), fa iza_ uhsinna fa in ataina bi fa_hisyatin fa 'alaihinna nisfu ma_ 'alal muhsana_ti minal 'aza_b(i), za_lika liman khasyiyal'anata minkum, wa anbiru_ khairul lakum, walla_hu gafu_rur rahim(un).
If any of you have not the means wherewith to wed free believing women they may wed believing girls from among those whom your right hands possess: and Allah hath full knowledge about your faith. You are one from another: wed them with the leave of their owners and give them their dowers according to what is reasonable: they should be chaste not lustful nor taking paramours: when they are taken in wedlock if they fall into shame their punishment is half that for free women. This (permission) is for those among you who fear sin; but it is better for you that you practice self-restraint: and Allah is Oft-forgiving Most Merciful.

However, consistent with (2:102), The Qur’an states that enmity/hostility (‘aduwwat) between believing men (and, by implication, women) and women (and, by implication, women) is quite possible and something about which to be wary:

(64:14-15) Ya_ ay yuhal lazina a_manu_ in na min azwa_jikum wa aula_dikum aduw wal lakum fahzaru_hum wa in tafu_ wa tasfahu_ wa tagfiru_ fa in nal la_ha gafu_rur rahim. In nama_ amwa_lukum wa aula_dukum fitnah wal la_hu indahu_ ajrun azim
O you who believe! Lo! Among your wives and your children there are enemies for you. Therefore, beware of them. And if you efface and overlook and forgive, then lo! Allah is Forgiving, Merciful. Your wealth and your children are only a temptation, whereas Allah! With Him is an immense reward.

Nonetheless, the source of hostility, and the one with whom believers - men and women alike - should maintain a condition of hostility is ash-shayth’aan, that is, the personality type that is alienated from God/Allah (swt) and alienates others from God/Allah (swt). As The Qur’an clearly states:

(35:6) Inna alshshaytana lakumAAaduwwun faittakhithoohu AAaduwwan innamayadAAoo hizbahu liyakoonoo min as-habi alssaAAeeri
Verily Satan is an enemy to you: so treat him as an enemy. He only invites his adherents that they may become Companions of the Blazing Fire.

It follows, therefore, that believing men and women should:
  • reconcile themselves to each other, especially if they are married;
  • unite on the basis of a shared transcendental objective, that is, Al-Islam or comprehensive self-surrender to God/Allah (swt); and
  • maintain a mutually defensive position in relation to ongoing threats posed by their real enemy – The Satanic Personality.

In conclusion, I would argue that the battle of the sexes is to be waged against ash-shayth’aan and not between men and women.

APPENDIX

LENINIST-MARXISM
“In order to maintain control of the people, it is necessary to completely destroy the family and restructure it.”

CONSERVATIVE CHRISTIAN “RIGHT”
“Marriage is full of difficulty. And not just because any two people living together are going to have their differences and conflicts that need to be resolved. Difficulty because, when you put a man and a woman together, that relationship can lead either to tremendous spiritual growth and fulfilment of their inborn potential, or it can lead to such conflict and hatred between them that they would rather die than be compelled to spend the rest of their lives with each other ‘in hell’.” (p.122)

“There’s something in man’s makeup that is capable of drawing the worst out of women. And there is something about a woman’s makeup that is capable of drawing the worst out of men. This is a spiritual inheritance we all share, having roots deep and profound… Thus, without also a shared love of truth to lead them both into the nobler realms of life, theirs will never be a ‘marriage made in heaven’. And that, again, is the ultimate purpose of marriage – to lead us to a closer relationship with our Creator by developing within us the character traits that befit God’s children.” (p.123)

“What enables [a man and a woman] ultimately to triumph – to have a truly happy long term marriage and family? One thing only. Both of their lives must revolve around a love of truth. If they have that, they both have the same spiritual father, they’re members of the same spiritual family. They have a shared standard by which to resolve differences. All disagreements ultimately find resolution – not because one knuckles under to the other, the submissive to the dominant, but because they both have placed God’s will at the centre of their lives, the centre of their family. The wife is not threatened by her husband’s being the ultimate and natural authority in the family, because she trusts him and his judgement. Nor, however, is the husband threatened by submitting to his wife’s guidance when he sees she is clearly right.” (pp.124-125)

“Men and women need to approach marriage with a mature, spiritual paradigm.” (p.125

Kupelian, David (2005) The Marketing of Evil: How Radicals, Elitists, and Psuedo-Experts Sell Us Corruption Disguised as Freedom. Nashville, TN: WND Books.

INTEGRAL (Scientific, Philosophical, Religious) PSYCHOANALYSIS
“Marriage is often bad because the couple usually looks at each other as a god or a goddess to be adored. Obviously, disillusion appears very soon, marking the end of their exaggerated fantasy. Yet when two people unite with some higher ideal in view, without a great deal of illusion concerning the partner, mutual acceptance increases steadily.

Tensions are effectively resolved because the couple’s mutual objective is situated on a higher place that satisfies all human desires. But when the union revolves around mutual adoration, frictions continually develop because neither of them will ever find in the other the ideals he or she has in mind. All that we desire to have one day can be found, but not in a pure and simple human relationship.” (pp.33-34)

Keppe, Norbetto R. (1989) Work and Capital. London: Proton Publishing.

ENVY as the basis of destructive psychopathological attitudes such as theomania, megalomania, narcissism, arrogance, alienation and inversion of values.

“Marriage is a pact of death because the man and the woman unite so that she can worship the power (megalomania) of her man and he can admire the body (narcissism) of his woman. Behind both attitudes lies self-worship, realised by each one through the other. This is why an overwhelming majority of marriages fail.” (p.73)

“When a couple lives for a common ideal and works for beauty, truth and goodness, then their relationship can be extremely harmonious and happy. This has been accomplished for the most part by couples who became aware of their theomania (wish to be all-powerful, God-like), and relinquished their fantasies of power to live for something real. The wishes of each became the wishes of both and their fighting thus ceased, because it has resulted from conflicting, contradictory wishes based on the woman’s narcissistic attitudes and the man’s megalomaniac desire for power.” (p.74)

“A couple can relate well to each other only when they are united by a common goal that is superior – an ideal, a humanitarian undertaking, which gives their life together a higher objective than the mere union of the two.” (p.58)

“It is almost impossible for a human being to be emotionally fulfilled in present-day society the way it is organised, for there is no way the individual can direct his affective energies freely and in a healthy way. The human affective potential is enormous. When it cannot be utilised correctly through useful action that is keyed to genuine science, art and culture, it inevitably ends up being concentrated in a pathological manner in a very small number of relationships.” (pp.94-95)

“Essentially, man and woman love one another, yet everything possible is done to set one against the other.” (p.156)

“I am not referring to sexual love as such…” (p.153)

“Sex is entirely dispensable if a person decides so, and it can also be highly enjoyable if that person meets a partner for whom he or she feels a great deal of affection. But it will never occupy a primary position in the life of a balanced human being, who is more concerned with questions of realisation and affection.” (p.50)

“The human being can only establish a true dialectic – that is, he can only have a correct point of reference by which to orient himself in life – through God, who is Supreme Perfection, Absolute Good, Total Happiness. The human being, no matter how good a person he or she may be, does not possess those things that can satisfy another human being. No matter how hard we may try, we are limited and very, very far being what God is. The only way we can be happy, enjoy physical and mental health, achieve professional, personal and social success, is by loving Beauty, Goodness and Truth (God) above all things, and our fellow beings as ourselves.” (p.42)

“…each time that we try to prevent affection from existing or from manifesting itself, no matter who the person may be, we are in fact drying up the source of life which is meant to well out from our innermost self. The result is all kinds of problems and afflictions: fights, separation and divorce; adultery and abortion; physical, psychological and social ills; and so on.” (p.154)

Genuine happiness can be found only in “love of truth, with all one’s heart, all one’s soul, all one’s mind, placing our purely personal interests on a secondary level. If we do this, all of our affective relationships will be successful, for they depend ultimately upon the relationship we have with God.” (p.148)

“…our suffering stems precisely from our having distanced ourselves so greatly from this
Being [God].” (p.159)

“…the woman of today views the members of the opposite sex, and not the men and women who control the economic power, as their worst enemies.” (pp.129-130)

“…the social and economic powers-that-be incite paranoia between the sexes, widening the gap between them and weakening both in order to dominate them more readily. While men and women are busy fighting each other, they serve the millionaires and the powerful institutions without question. Women are in the habit of analysing their situation in terms of a ‘male-oriented society’, ‘a society of male values’, ‘male economics’ and similar labels that indicate that they view the question of sex as the cause of their problems. At the same time they fail to see that the majority of men are equally enslaved by socio-economic power.” (p.64)

“Superficial, extremely querulous, scheming and rebellious, women are far more apt to complain, to contests without clear grounds, than to propose and fight for significant social change – an undertaking that requires a more constructive type of commitment. At the same time, we must recognise that all of the great wars and crimes have been perpetrated by men. Objectively speaking, women have never been actively engaged in wreaking any sort of destruction in the world. Yet what must be seen with all urgency is the fact that all too frequently we women have silently acquiesced to such destruction.” (p.125)

“…very few women have made any real attempt to modify the status quo that prevails in this world of ours.” (p.113)

In general, “women want more freedom and more power, not for the purpose of bringing greater justice and dignity to human existence, but rather so that they will have the so-called ‘power’ to do all of the unreal, psychopathological things men do.” (p.114)

“Rarely, indeed does [a woman] ask herself: ‘What can I achieve? How can I contribute to the progress of humanity? How can I work with this person and help him?’” (p.105)

“Instead of fighting against our fathers and our husbands, we must weaken the resistance of the powers-that-be in order to conquer them with the weapons we have, of which they are unaware. In psychological ‘warfare’, we are the best. Now we have to use our powers against our real enemies, those who have been exploiting us and using us as objects in order to maintain their power.” (p.163)

“…woman was born to complete God’s creation, just as man was, and that only by accomplishing this can we women be happy.” (p.158)

“God created us to be like him in our behaviour. He granted us the honour of participating in the universal creative process, completing it and perfecting it. The only way we can become really like him is by doing just that.” (p.85)

“…the union of man and woman is meant to reproduce on earth the reality that exists in the Creator.” (p.136)

“The woman needs the qualities of the man, just as the man needs the qualities of the woman… By recognizing themselves as complementary being, a woman and a man can flourish to maximum intensity and accomplish what each, alone, never before could achieve, including the discovery in themselves of totally unknown potentials.” (p.137)

“With God we don’t have much choice. Either we revere him and participate in his work, thereby becoming a tiny reflection of him with all of the happiness that love can bring us; or we become ridiculous beings: part human, part demon, exploding with arrogance and stupidity.” (p.44)

Pacheco, Claudia Bernhardt (1987) Women on The Couch: An Analysis of Female Psychopathology. London: Proton Publishing.

PAN-AFRICANISM
“…deceived about the nature of European cultural politics …miseducated about the pervasiveness and persuasiveness of white supremacy in their daily thoughts and deeds... involuntary socialization in an alien and alienating culture.” (p.1)

“…the internal chaos necessary for the voluntary maintenance of white supremacy among the darkest populations.” (p.112)

“The precariousness of life in a white supremacist world and the stress that it brings naturally has a greater impact on our interpersonal relationships.” (pp.23-24)

“…we have been led to believe that ‘love’ occurs outside, and is completely unaffected by, European cultural politics of exploitation.” (p.19)

“Image is everything initially. But, one should never forget through whose eyes the package is appraised. We interpret life through the lens of the culture we are socialised in.” (p.20)

“…in this cultural reality a superficial and ephemeral romance concealing a constant state of antagonistic competition is the normal form that primary, intimate interpersonal interactions can take.” (p.20)

“It is hard for those socialised in a culture that teaches all people to believe they individually and independently originate their own intelligent decisions to admit that most of their choices are not wholly their own. It is upon this ignorance that culture depends for control.” (p.20)

“War/conflict, at all levels of society and in all forms of interaction, is a prerequisite for western profit. White supremacy will find a way to divide, segregate, antagonize and then exploit.” (p.35)

“The battle is won or lost in the mind.” (p.2)

“In most psychiatric circles, the need to live in constant fantasy indicates a neurotic, if not psychotic, personality incapable of living with truth.” (p.18)

“…warrior scholars need the strongest women they can get their hand on to, if nothing else, skilfully handle whatever comes at their children if they are themselves wounded or fall in battle.” (p.53)

“Commitment to a fundamental vision, a profound project, a spiritual quest is the kind of commitment which demonstrates vision. Relationships which are based on [Afrocentric] vision are never boring, dull, or without vitality. A visionary aspect to a relationship establishes a purpose outside of and beyond the daily considerations of living.” (Molefi K. Asante, cited on p.18)

Crawford, Larry D. (2000) Excuses, Excuses: The Politics of Interracial Coupling in
European Culture
. Atlanta: Akoben House.

“Power gives meaning and form to virtually every relationship in the Western cultural context.” (p.13)

Baruti refers to “romance’s origins as a fiction to promote and provide a demilitarised space for sexual intimacy…” (p.32)

“Speaking in the general context of European culture, pain must be normalized in all aspects of life and relationships. Romantic love is no exception. In the West, love does indeed hurt. And the pain these encounters bring has led to a parallel increase in the callousness and trepidation with which both males and females approach each other. It has helped to spread the lack of trust that has characterised the intimate, interpersonal relationships of the European for centuries among those who, up to becoming victims to Western culture and society, had proven and working means of developing strong, stable, non-romance based loving relationships that lasted for life. Fear of pain has made it easy to turn males and females into heartless predators of each other in their romanticised hunt for sex.” (p.36)

“Romance [is] a substitute and indication of a misguided effort to try to locate spirit.”

Baruti, Mwalimu K. Bomani (2002) The Sex Imperative. Atlanta: Akoben House.

URLs: Women Leading Prayer

Peace Be Unto Those Who Follow Right Guidance.

Here are a couple of interesting URLs presenting slightly different views on the issue of whether or not it is Islamically permissible (mubah) for a woman to lead a mixed congregation of Muslims in as-salaat.

"Fatwa by Dr. Abou El Fadl: On Women Leading Prayer" by Khalid Abou El Fadl.

"An Examination of the Issue of Female Prayer Leadership" by Imam Zaid Shakir.

Peace

Live for God and Live with Each Other

Peace Be Unto Those Who Follow Right Guidance.

During the course of a recent talk I delivered to a group of Muslims in East London - "The Battle of The Sexes" - I cited a variety of thinkers and social commentators, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, who maintained the need for men and women in marital relationships to base their marriage on a higher spiritual calling.

Today I re-read an article entitled "An Examination of The Issue of Female Prayer Leadership" by Imam Zaid Shakir, affiliate and scholar in residence at The Zaytuna Institute in California, who summarised this view as follows:

When we live for our Lord it becomes easy to live with each other. If in our personal relations we can come to embody the spirit of mutual love, mercy and affection, encouraged by our Prophet, peace and blessings of God be upon him, we will be able to live together in harmony, and make a beautiful and lasting contribution towards the uplift of men and women alike. The times we live in cry out for such a contribution. The question is, "Who will respond?" (p.13)

I can only concur with the sentiment expressed above.

Peace

Monday, August 07, 2006

Lessons from The Fall: Pre-Historic Indications of Qawwaama

Peace Be Unto Those Who Follow Right Guidance.

Yesterday, I delivered a talk entitled "The Battle of The Sexes" to a group of Muslims in East London. The objective of the talk was to explore gender dynamics in the dominant contemporary world order - White Supremacy (Racism) - as contrasted with gender dynamics in the Islamic - more specifically, Qur'anic - weltanschauung (worldview). My central point was that the phrase "battle of the sexes" can be understood in two ways, viz. as implying either a battle between the sexes (that is, between males and females) or a battle of the sexes taken as a single unit (or complementary pair) fighting against something else. I hold to the view that, unfortunately, both conflicts are indeed raging in the world, but that the former conflict should end and focus shift exclusively to the latter: In short, I'm proposing an endorsement of the view that "it's you and me, babe, against the world", with the proviso that it's not the world that is the thing to struggle against, but rather the New World (Dis)Order that is White Supremacy (Racism).

After the talk, one of the members of the audience, Aziza Fanselow, an Egyptian Muslim sister who I had previously been introduced to through a mutual friend, commented briefly on something I had said during my talk. I had said that, unlike Christianity, which laid the blame for "The Fall" of man at the feet of woman (specifically, Eve), the Islamic view appeared, at first glance, to hold men and women equally responsible for their initial "fall" from grace. However, I also made reference to a statement in a master's dissertation entitled "Examine the Prophet's Position on the Status of Women" that I had recently read in which it was (correctly) stated that it was 'Adam who disobeyed the command of his Sustainer/Cherisher (rabb) and followed the 'whisperings' of Ash-Shayth'aan (the alienated and alienating personality type), thereby leading both himself and his complementary opposite (zawj) astray. (Interestingly, The Qur'an nowhere mentions hawa=Eve by name.) The relevant signs/messages (ayaat) of The Qur'an in this connection are as follows:

(20:120) Fawaswasa ilayhi alshshaytanu qala ya adamu hal adulluka AAala shajarati alkhuldi wamulkin la yabla
But Satan whispered evil to him: he said, "O Adam! shall I lead thee to the Tree of Eternity and to a kingdom that never decays?"


(20:121) Faakala minha fabadat lahuma saw-atuhuma watafiqa yakhsifani AAalayhima min waraqi aljannati waAAasa adamu rabbahu faghawa
In the result, they both ate of the tree, and so their nakedness appeared to them: they began to sew together, for their covering, leaves from the Garden: thus did Adam disobey his Lord, and allow himself to be seduced.


(20:122) Thumma ijtabahu rabbuhu fataba AAalayhi wahada
But his Lord chose him (for His Grace): He turned to him, and gave him Guidance.


Sister Aziza's contribution was to share with me her tafseer (commentary) on the implications of these ayaat (signs/messages) for the issue of qawwaama (maintenance). According to her reading of these ayaat, the fact that it is 'Adam who is the one whispered to and yet 'Eve' appears to have gone along with - that is, accepted, concurred with, followed, or obeyed - his (that is, 'Adam's) decision to follow such errant, seductive advice implies that 'Adam stands to his complementary opposite (zawj) in the relation of qawwaam, that is, as one who is responsible for maintaining, looking after, taking care of (that is, care-taking) his complementary opposite, while she stands in a relation of ith'aat (voluntary obedience) to him. In this way, Sister Aziza established a connection between (20:120-122) and (4:34). I think this is a significant connection to have made because various '(post)-modernist' and so-called 'Muslim feminist' (or 'Islamic feminist') authors such as Amina Wadud Muhsin, author of Qur'an and Women: Rereading the Sacred Text from a Woman's Perspective have tried to argue that the male role of qawwaam is not an essential one, but rather a contingent, socially-constructed one. I think that the above argument calls this position into question and re-establishes the validity of the traditional, essentialist stance vis-a-vis gender complementarity and the relation of gender difference to functional difference.

I want to thank Sister Aziza for sharing this fiqh (understanding) with me and hope that you, my reader, derive benefit from it.

Peace

Monday, July 03, 2006

The Male Container: Half-Full or Half-Empty?

Peace Be Unto Those Who Follow Right Guidance.

In what follows, I would like to offer a few brief exploratory comments on the topic of the assumed derivative nature of women relative to men. (I would like to dedicate this piece to Aisha, who is an ongoing source of inspiration for me on these and other issues...)

According to The Qur'an, God/Allah created the human being from a single 'self' (nafs) and from it created its complementary opposite (zawj), and from the two of them (that is, the pairing) brought forth a multitude of men and women. It is interesting to note that the word nafs is gendered feminine - or, alternatively, is jamaali ('beautiful'/'yielding') as opposed to jalaali ('majestic'/'imposing') in intrinsic nature. It is this 'passive'/'receptive' nature of the 'self' (nafs) which enables it to be moulded into a variety of behavioural and attitudinal 'shapes' (that is, characters or personality types). The Qur'an states quite categorically that the human being (insaan) was created from clay and it is in the nature of clay to take on the imprint of whatever is pressed into it. The human being is fashionable, impressionable.

There is a view that a woman is a "man with a womb (rahm)", implying thereby that a woman has something additional to what God/Allah has given man. However, a glass or container can be viewed as either half-full or half-empty: Perhaps it is not only that a woman has something in addition to a man, but that a man is in some sense less than a woman. Certainly this is true in that a man does not have a womb (rahm). God/Allah has tied the womb to two of His Names - Ar-Rahmaan and Ar-Raheem. For a woman to possess a womb is for her to naturally manifest these names in the created world; hence, a woman of natural disposition (fitrah) will always be more compassionate than a man. But does this mean that men do not have the capacity for manifesting rahmah or are somehow essentially deficient in this regard? Clearly, this cannot be the case since the seal of those who received revelation, Muhammad (peace be upon him), is described by God/Allah in The Qur'an as a rahmah for all domains of being (al-'aalameen).

But the fact remains that women possess wombs (arhaam) and men do not. If this is viewed as a deficiency of men, how can they make it up? Perhaps the answer to this question - and I should like to state that this answer was suggested by a Muslim brother, Isa Ibrahiim, during a conversation on the dynamics of sexual and gender complementarity with a Muslim sister - is that men become wombs for their wives (and families) by fulfilling the role of qawwaam (maintainer, provider, care-taker). In the same way that the biological womb (rahm) takes care of the developing foetus, protecting it in a soft, safe, nurturing environment, so by emulating the way of Muhammad (peace be upon him), and fulfilling their role as qawwaamoon, men can manifest the Muhammadan trait of rahmah and thereby acquire a womb-like relationship to their dependants, thereby making good their 'deficiency'.

The Qur'an states that the human being (insaan) has been created "from dried clay that makes a sound when struck". This can be understood symbolically in a number of ways:

(1) It means that human beings are capable of articulate speech (mantiq);

(2) It means that human beings are of a weak or 'brittle' disposition;

However, it could also be understood to mean that human beings are containers that have the potential for being filled with whatever is in their environment.

The glass or container can be viewed as half-empty or as half-full: From the perspective of rahmah, we can look at women as super-men or, alternatively, look at men as sub-women. But this is not necessarily a fixed or unchanging condition of the human male; rather, it is a challenge for men to dynamically change themselves in order to purify, prune and develop the 'self' (tazkiyyat-an-nafs) by manifesting complementarity in the created realm (khalq). Men fail to take up this challenge by not following the "Muhammadan way", by not becoming real men, that is men who acquire 'wombs' through their role as qawwaamoon to women.

Peace

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Introduction

Peace Be Unto Those Who Follow Right Guidance.

The Qur'an states that God/Allah has created all things in pairs, that is, as either complementary or conflictual opposites. This principle is known in Arabic as TAZWEEJ and the aim of this blog is to explore the manifestation of this principle in the created order (al-'aalam al-khalq), more specifically, in the relational dynamics of sex, gender and sexuality in the human realm, from an Islamic perspective.

Peace